you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
