I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
