She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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