"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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