i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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