I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
