Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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