I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
