Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize