smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
