im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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