i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
