Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
