I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
