Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
