she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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