How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
