i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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