So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
