We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
