just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
