i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sarcasm needs its own font
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
