don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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