I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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