obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
