how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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