Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
