You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
