I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
