she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
