Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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