Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
