Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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