Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
