No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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