Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize