I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize