Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
