Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
FUCK WHALES
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
