i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
