question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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