It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
