i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
