thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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