Jerry, you need to find god
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
