Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
