from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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