I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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