Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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