Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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