you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
