so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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