ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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