I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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