you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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