And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
