I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize