He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
