physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You are the jesus of drinking
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
